Linzi Interviews Moctezuma Johnson

I am very excited to present my very first interview with the same person who first interviewed me. Yes, the self-proclaimed ‘King of Porn’, Moctezuma Johnson, or MJ, as we call him.

For those of you who are familiar with his writing and blogs, you know that he’s a straight shooter - a no-holds barred kind of person. That’s exactly what this interview is about. The raw, unvarnished Moctezuma Johnson. You either love him or hate him. There is no in-between. You’ve been warned. He’s bold, challenging and confrontational; a sophisticated raconteur of the uncut and unexpurgated. Only the brave should continue reading this. Fortunately for me, I am one that has acquired an appetite for it and savors that truly rare style that is Moctezuma Johnson.

His explicit uninhibited narrative is phenomenal. For me, he is the Leonardo da Vinci of the written word. His talent lies in his ability to paint with words. The scenery is colorfully evocative written with a masterful skill that insinuates one into the steamy passages as a voyeur cum participant. It is you that lives the torrid tales that he spins with such finesse and class, that until you reach the hard core, you’ll find it difficult to believe that you’re reading pornography.

So, without any further Moctezuma Johnson.

MJ, first things first, give us all the hot stuff about you that no one else knows. You know, the color of your hair, how tall are you, age, hotness rating, favorite color, stamina in the be…I mean gym…lol…just kidding, a short bio of you as a writer will probably be the only thing that I will be able to wring from you…sigh, sorry ladies…I tried!

Chestnut hair like a swarthy muhfucker but I shave my head. I’m six feet tall. I’m 41-43 (there’s some discrepancy about that), and fucking hot as all hairy balls. Red, red (in bed, err, gym -- as in, redlining). Oh you were kidding about the physical attributes? Oh well, oops, guess I’ve embarrassed myself again. Sorry, men. I was just about to get to the cock size. Sorry ladies. Can we start again? Yes? Awesome. You’re such a lovely audience I’d love to take you home with me I’d love to make you hum. I don’t really want to start the show, but I thought you might like to know:

I’m a journalist turned bar owner turned writer who really doesn’t care for the world 2016 writers have inherited. As I told you off the record, I’m quite depressed. I am not happy with the state of the world at all.

I’m sure you have been asked this question a million times. Your writing is phenomenal. You have a way of describing and coloring a picture so vividly with words, it brings it to life. The kind of writing one expects from a literature genre, a more serious writer. Why Porn and how did you come by the title, King of Porn?

The King of Porn? Man, that’s silly. I think I made it up to piss off another writer who I will call T. Queef. If not, I was just poking a little fun at myself for having a big inflatable ego like a multi-colored pie-sliced beach ball. I wish my writing was phenomenal, but it’s not. That’s very nice of you to say.

You write about a myriad of controversial topics. Where do your ideas come from and how do you decide on a title for your books?

I never decide on anything. If you watch my library you will miraculously see covers changing color, titles changing, and even characters metamorphosing. If I read outloud, I edit as I read. This is also the answer to the previous question. I’m never satisfied, always editing, and always mock my own work as I write it. My ideas come from many sources, the most common of which is my long staring walks. I told Sallyann Phillips the same thing. I walk the way a cat “plays” with a snake, with severe purpose. My eyes scour the horizon, my nostrils flare, I take slow deep breaths, I listen to the moon hum, I play out scenes in my head, I consider possibilities, then I stare at you and ask what color bra you’re wearing and from what position was your mom’s last orgasm achieved. I talk to everyone. I make friends easily. I’m blessed with great social skills, or cursed because inside I’m brooding. I secretly hate the world. I think people are lazy and stupid and in the process of destroying the human race. I piss people off a lot too. I’ve found I end up sleeping with many of the woman I piss off. I think many women like to get pissed off. I think being mad often gives women a sense of self. My mom gets all vindication from men. I hate that about her. This generation is much stronger, much more in touch with their anger. This is good for me when I’m trying to get laid, but it has led to a very rough attitude, especially among Americans. I don’t care for it. We are running out of culture as a race and are not equipped to function without it. Our technology surpasses our common sense and will lead to our imminent destruction.

So why porn, you ask? I thought it sold well. I was wrong. I write some other stuff under other names too. Secret secret! But because I think we’re doomed I’m really drawn to mythology, particularly Cthulhu and Mexican stuff.

So, the big question everyone always asks female Erotica writers. How much of your own experiences are in your stories?

Well, ha ha ha, sorry I can’t stop laughing. A fucking lot! I mean, I’ve run a bar and traveled Latin America and Asia extensively. I keep myself fit and, to be blunt, get a ton of pussy. Also I admittedly have had a few substance abuse problems that come and go in ever-changing patterns and phases. Therefore, some of my stuff reads more like memoir. I’ve been thinking of chang